“What is it?” Carter asks, turning to look where my eyes are fixed

“Nothing.” I shake my eyes away
but I am rattled
to my very being

when the team arrives
it takes every ounce of strength I possess
to rise from the chair I am in and follow
them to the van

the blue car is still there
but no one is leaning against it
and I tell myself that I must have imagined it
my imagination run wild with the stress of the meet

over and over
I repeat to myself
“It wasn’t him.”
because I must