Julie asked me to memorize this psalm
and instead of my lack of desire
I am aware of my utter need
to dwell in shelter
to rest in shadow
to be rescued
and protected

protected
the word chaffs at my heart
like sandpaper
remembering that night I was so vulnerable
thinking that it was my own rebellion
that caused God to look away

in what ways was I guarded
that night?
the disaster drew near
and I was the one trampled
underfoot

my need seemed unheard
my cries ignored

real but aloof