I am safe
because even if he comes here
he cannot come near me
a barrier separating the gymnasts
from the non-gymnasts
so I relax into the routine of conditioning
breathing slower
letting go of the anxiety that builds between sessions
I come earlier and stay longer
always finding someone to walk in and out with
they don’t know
and I don’t want them to know

it is during the in-between times
getting from place to place that I am the most scared
imagining him running me off the road
or dragging me off

my logical side tells me that I am being paranoid
that surely he wouldn’t risk getting in more trouble
by hurting me again
but perhaps he is not being logical right now
and only wants revenge