I go to the arraignment
because I must
see him

he sits next to his daddy’s lawyer
Mr. All-American
soccer star
in a suit and tie
a fresh haircut

he pleads not guilty to the charges
of course
and never makes eye contact with me
invisible again

I talk with the detective afterwards
a third girl has come forward
during the investigation
and I am sick
sick that this boy
who I convinced myself
had done one stupid thing years ago
has been preying on other girls
all through my silence

guilt and grief
have taken up
where anger has left