officially
as Ben introduces me this way
at least four times
the wake is small
and instead of relatives
there are people from her church
old friends she grew up with
even a teacher
who taught Paula in high school
all come to say good-bye

I hover near Ben
who is polite
and dignified
carefully hiding the
shockwaves of sorrow
that must lie underneath

Taylor sits on the couch
spinning a glass in slow circles
anchored amidst the activity around her

I sit with her for a while
unable to say anything
worthwhile
the shock still holding back her grief
for now
but I still sit
so that she is not alone