for the first half of the trip to his house,
Ben prattles on about school
and professors and the silly sentences
he uses to remember stuff in bio-chem

but then he grows quiet
and asks how I’m doing
the question weighted far beyond
the four words he uses

I consider this because I feel oddly numb
like my life is in some sort of suspension fluid
waiting
for so many things

so I tell him about reporting the rape
and how sorry I am
for acting like a basket case
he draws his breath in
and slowly shakes his head

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t be sorry,” he says

little he knows