on Saturday Ben keeps texting me jokes
which is funny
and sweet
especially since today I am feeling guilty again
for taking out my anger on Ben
he deserves better
he deserves normal
not some confused gymnast
who spends the bulk of her time
throwing herself
at stationary objects

What do you call a fairy that has taken a bath?
Stinkerbell

Where did the cows go on Friday night?
Moo-vies

they make me giggle but
I still feel as if things are off
with Ben
with Angie
with my family

and even my newfound focus at the gym
doesn’t seem like enough anymore