It’s strange to have God as homework but Julie sends me home
with strict instructions to spend time with God
which is a little different than spending time
with a flesh and blood human being
God and I didn’t have an honest to goodness falling out
we simply drifted apart

at least I drifted

I wasn’t really sure what to do anymore
I started with quiet
since I’m usually in the gym
or finishing homework
or on the phone
I don’t get a lot of quiet
the quiet encourages too much thinking
and this is probably why I can’t sleep anymore
the quiet is literally driving me insane

so after the gym
I head home
and instead of doing homework
or calling Ben or Mel
I sit in the very center of my room
quiet and still

this works for like two minutes
before I start thinking about Ethan
(which is not what I’m supposed to think about)
but it’s like Ethan steps between God and I
and I can’t see anything else but him

and that makes me mad all over again