everyone is home tonight
which is unusual
and I think that maybe it
would be easier if they weren’t here
when Ben picks me up

I get ready slowly
trying to plan what I will say
not able to figure out
how to do it
without insinuating that
we are in fact a couple
which we may not be
and there really isn’t a
non-humiliating way to find out

so I fix my hair
apply my make-up
and slip into a
deep green dress
that makes the red
in my hair stand out
and my eyes sparkle
I feel beautiful

on the outside
anyway
it’s what is on the inside
though
that I can’t ever cover up