in addition to not hitting
the Arabian or flight series
somehow my hands have missed
the bar on my release move
three times today
and my chest hurts from landing on it

I chalk my hands again
watching the white cloud
surround me then disappear

from across the gym I watch
Presley stick her vault landing
and I feel a twinge of jealousy
that everything seems to have gotten
easier for her
at the same time
that everything got harder for me

I try again
miss again
and think that
this will likely
be the worst meet of my life