I go home and sit in front of the TV
mindlessly flipping through the channels
Anna and Gabby are still in the barns
I ask God for a sign
something to tell me what
I could possibly do with
my life
if I decide to not do
gymnastics
but all I see are
animal shows and cartoons
and a sinking realization
that working hard
and wanting something
just isn’t enough sometimes

sometimes there has to be magic involved

not the illusions and tricks from the stage
or the kind that gets Christians in a snit
but the sprinkling of some unseen favor
upon someone

like Presley
or my sister

if I have not been sprinkled or blessed or granted
that special something that will make me
one of the best
then I need to make a choice
whether to continue
or quit and cut my losses

I quit once before and I never really recovered
If I hadn’t quit when I did
so many things wouldn’t have happened and
maybe I wouldn’t even be here
thinking about what I
am supposed to do with my life
if I don’t do gymnastics