I pace my room for twenty minutes
(it’s all the time I had)
before calling Ben
I get his voice mail
which relieves me

Hi Ben, It’s me and I really am sorry for not calling you back and I hope you understand but things have been kind of crazy, make that totally crazy, the last few days and well I’m sorry for not calling and if you want to I mean you can call me back, well after practice because that’s where I’m going now and well, bye.

I cringe and hang up
knowing that I sounded like an idiot
but hoping he will forgive me anyway