I think I make it inside
without being seen
but before I even get
to the top of the stairs
Gabby is behind me
asking if I’m okay
and what happened.

I turn, weary,
not wanting to talk
to anyone
to her

“I just got lost. I fell. I’m fine.”

She lets me go into the bathroom
but after I have
showered and changed
I hear a small knock on the door
and Gabby is there

I invite her in
and she sits on my bed

that baby seems
to have put a
deep valley between us
I remind myself that
she has done nothing wrong
but I still feel disconnected
from her
and I wonder if I would
have gone through the same thing
with my own mother
if she had lived
if there would be times
even with her
that I felt closer
or far away

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she pulls a blanket
into her lap and smooths her hand over it

“I’m fine.”

“Look Luce. I don’t buy it.
What’s going on?”

Too much to talk about
I want to say but instead
I say “Nothing” and shrug
as I pull a comb through my
wet hair

“Come on Lucy. Talk to me.
Talk to somebody.”

Thinking has always been
easier than talking
but maybe Gabby’s right
and that talking to someone would help

and at that moment
I knew just who to call