I go to church
obediently
rather than
passionately
and the thought crosses my mind
that this is
not a good thing
I am aware
of the lukewarm spitting thing*
that will happen if
we aren’t hot or cold

Maybe it would be easier
if I was cold, to figure out
what to do about
the spiritual girl that
perhaps is still inside of me
somewhere
but has gotten
lost
misplaced
or confused somehow
into thinking that
obedience is enough.

* “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Rev. 3:15-16)