and then I chicken out

I manage to tell Mel that
I am NOT interested in TJ
in that way
and that she needs to stop worrying
about my
non-existent love life.

She tells me that I am not
allowed to skip Homecoming and asks,
what would be the harm in having
someone to go with?

For this, I do not have a good answer.

Other than Ben, of course,
who I will not ask to take me to
Homecoming
despite the fact that he may actually be willing to take me,
there is something, well,
embarrassing
about having a college guy come back to
take a high school girl to Homecoming.

I can’t do it.
if it were Prom,
I might swallow the fear,
and if this thing continues till then I
can deal with it then

But it’s all too new, too fresh and too undefined
somehow.

I really don’t want to go to Homecoming anyway.