I drive back home
my head swimming
and my heart feeling
like maybe it’s been squeezed
just a little too hard

I’ve never had time for boys
never had time for life outside the gym
and the one time I did
I made the biggest mistake of my life
one I still think about
and regret
every
single
day

I wonder what Ben would think if he knew
If he knew that I wasn’t whole
that a piece of me is forever gone
taken
given
lost

I shake the thought away
Ben is driving home
and I am just a stop
between one place in his life
and another.