I find myself sad
and this surprises me

being with Ben is
comfortable
smiling
laughing

I don’t want him to go
I want time to explore
this new place
this place where
I don’t feel like
I am only
a gymnast
a daughter
another worker on the farm

a place where I feel like
just maybe I am something more
something else altogether

when he says good-bye
he kisses me on the cheek
a gesture that feels safe and yet
holds possibility
one that says our possibilities
are being explored as well

I watch his car disappear
around the corner
and with it goes all those
wonderful
scary
amazing
possibilities