have history
but our present is a little messed up
I often wonder what
he thinks when he watches me

knowing he is there
isn’t the problem

It is true that God always forgives
I’ve read it
I even believe it
but I can’t help but think
that there might be times
when we have sailed too far away
to be retrieved

I cannot escape his realness
even as I feel that I have
outgrown my faith
like a pair of jeans

I cannot find a size that really fits

It’s like he is with me, close,
but behind a glass wall
and I don’t know whether
I put it there
or if he did

on the day I
messed
everything
up